Sexual Assault and Defund the Police
We can’t address sexual assault until we fix the way White people fuck. Why? Because they fuck like White Supremacist assholes. Not all of them all of the time, but enough of them enough of the time that we’ve normalized spousal rape.
You may not think spousal rape is a thing, but it is. And it dwarfs all of the other incidents of sexual assault combined. A good number of Americans are going to wake up tomorrow morning and think, “I think Harry fucked me when I was asleep again. That guy. I wish he wouldn’t. Now where did I put my shopping list?”
White suburban sex in the top half of the income bracket is so shot through with spousal rape that they don’t even call it spousal rape; they just call it sex.
This shouldn’t be a surprise. We’ve made a national project out of producing White Supremacist assholes, and White Supremacist assholes are going to fuck with all of the authority and divine righteousness of White supremacist assholes. Now spousal rape isn’t the aim of America; it’s the bi-product. It’s the industrial pollution flowing out of America’s White supremacist asshole factory.
When we talk about the need for police in order to address sexual assault, that’s just a ploy to fill out police budgets because we aren’t serious about stopping sexual assault; we want to control poor and stigmatized folks through using the specter of sexual assault. However, this nation is very serious about protecting the middle and upper class’s right, and the Christian White’s duty, to assault each other. We’ve just found a way to destigmatize and decriminalize the way that middle income to wealthy White people sexually assault each other. For the White Christians, we call it “duty sex.” I still call it rape.
You can say, “If the spouses consent, it doesn’t count.” Let me be clear, people consent to assault all of the time. The consent of the victim isn’t sufficient to demarcate sexual assault. The attention of the assailant also counts. This isn’t something that victims want to hear because they think the narrative about sexual assualt is all about them and their choices. It’s not. The other person who is having sex at you is a whole other person. It’s an interaction between people, so what’s in the assailant’s mind counts, too.
The victim can go ahead and say, “use my body as a vessel for your orgasm,” but if one partner is simply masturbating with the other person’s body, that’s assault. You can say, “Well, what about sex workers?” You can still rape sex workers. You are in an immediate relationship with the other person. There is no barrier between your will and theirs, which means that your will matters, and the other person never stops being a whole person. If you stop thinking about the other person as a person, you are assaulting them. It doesn’t matter if you pay them afterwards.
This normalization of spousal rape is a White thing, not a gender thing. There are a good number of women and entire institutions who encourage trading the occasional sexual assault for the money, prestige, and security that comes with having a culture of devoted White assholes who feel it’s their duty to take care of and secure their family’s place in the racial hierarchy. Some people are going to read this and say, BUT really it’s a gender thing, not a White thing!! Listen, if you are married to a Black guy and you expect him to trade you sex for him providing money, prestige, and security, then I’ll tell you how that marriage is going to end: divorce. So the spousal rape trade off of a piece with White supremacy is just that, a White thing.
This means that much of the sexual assault in the White suburbs is consensual. It’s wives relenting because the husband is in a better mood once he uses her body to masturbate with and the bills get paid.
And the White church has normalize spousal rape in the church under the cover of duty sex, and we simply need to admit that Brett Kavanaugh fucks like an asshole, and his wife doesn’t mind it because he earns. Joe Biden and Bill Clinton fuck like assholes, too, and Jill and Hillary don’t care for their own reasons. You all are trying to tell me that Cory Gardner is an attentive lover? For the record, there is a gleam in these religious conservative’s eyes that tells at least me that they rape their spouse.
We support spousal rape because spousal rape is simply an outgrowth of White supremacist patriarchy. We want a world with racialized suburbs, churches, and capital outlays, and we want these benefits and burdens to be secured against the justice claims of Black people, that means that we’ve accepted a world where White assholes are assholes in the streets, and then come home and are assholes between the sheets.
Make no mistake: The way we talk about addressing sexual assault has much more to do with securing police budgets than it does with ending sexual assault. If we didn’t already have a sexual assault or domestic violence problem in the US, the police would need to create one to police area Negroes and some of the poors.
If you want to address sexual assault, we’d have to address relationships, but that means shutting down the White asshole factory that is America. We could do that. We could make fewer assholes, but that would change the shape of our entire political economy. There is a book that came out last year about women having better sex under socialism. The problem is that White assholes serve a function in American capitalism asWhite assholes. They are a protected class. Go to a suburban Chamber of Commerce, and do you know what you’ll find? Dudes who rape their spouses, and a few of their real estate agent spouses.
If you want to address sexual assault, you have to address how we conceive of relationships and entitlements. That’s going to affect intimate relationships, property relationships, employment relationships, religious relationships, and political relationships. It’s going to jeopardize White supremacy. It’ll jeopardize the distribution of power, but as Cleaver eloquently writes, the revolution has to take a stand on fucking:
Two and half more points:
1) I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the fears White men in the 1970s had of women becoming liberated in their own access to money, safety, and honor etc. is that the sex changes. If the deal was, “I give you money and the house of your choosing, you give me access to rape you”, then with White women having their own money (Black women have always worked), White men had to work harder and be more attentive for sex, and these guys aren’t built for that life. There aren’t too many people who can be an asshole for their day job, casual about treating their employees like trash for the sake of the bottom line, then come home and somehow be attentive lovers.
2) A lot of these White moms are thinking, “I need to marry off my son before he rapes the wrong person, as opposed to raping the right person, his wife.” They know their kid is an asshole. You think they care if their asshole son is having thoughtful sex? Or that he just happens to be an asshole in most other aspects of his life?
½) Some of you White liberals will say, “It can’t be the case because I don’t know anyone like that.” These are the same people who say, “I don’t know how Trump could win because I don’t know anyone who voted for him.” That’s not a mark on the Trump electorate; that speaks to the delusions of White liberalism. These are folks who don’t even know that their uncle rapes their aunt and has been for decades.
White families are insidious hotbeds of racial injustice, and it shows up in the fucking. To the point that the intensive manners training I see in the South is actually a practice in dissociating the inner sociopathy from the outer, mannered veneer.